Distraction

How do you find answers when you are confused?

How pathetic I am! Someone needs me!

Alright! Why I complain so much? Yes, I am complaining so much these past few days, weeks, months!! I don’t know either what’s happening to me. I am not on my track, I don’t bother to care… or better yet… I am mad to the world. Somehow.. what Daph’s said to her post Why Avoid The Unavoidable?about risk conversion!!! After what happened last December, I say personal, It feels like I don’t feel to live anymore, hard for me to laugh, so much pain inside and keeping it secretly which drive me to be one of the players online, having fun. I become moody, mad to the world again, I don’t even study and this week is our midterm exam. HAH!! Goodluck to me! I am not like this, Yes one of my personality is not bother to care on EVERYTHING not really everything. I live as it is! That’s me, but ruining myself like this? I mean how can I let this happen? right? Why I complain so much! Oh well, I bother to asked myself that last night!

And today, I read one blog. ‘I need your help, yes you‘ ! Yah, its April’s blog. One of my most valued friend on twitter but I consider her as real! A realization came out! What burden I’m keeping in is so less compare to April. Okay, I won’t deny that I also laugh, you know.. sort of friends making me so! But why I am letting myself destroy? Where I can be something to someone, right? I mean, just being there to my friends is enough for them. Presence, support and love you give to your friends is so much appreciated. Somehow, I just miss to hear that someone telling me: ‘thanks for making my day‘!

I should be the daylight again! For myself, for the people whose my smile and laugh can make their day on!!

 

A devastation that I felt

Yesterday was very a long long day.

Two of my friends were affected by that tropical storm Sendong, so we the budidies decided to help even in our own lil way. So after work I was with my friends buying goods for them. As we headed to our first destination, we can all see the tragic view that TSS brought to Cagayan de Oro. We saw houses that was really, ugh, that you can’t really picture out anymore.  I can see survivors trying to strive and save their things and houses, t’was very heart breaking scenario because I can say deep down to my self that I can’t do anything to help them out. 😦 So devastating. Annndd.. for almost an hour of travel, finally we reached at Peri’s house. Hearing her story, what did they experience doubles the pain that i felt 😦 . What good to know is she and her family were okay now. Second destination was at meriam’s place. We reached there when the sun is about to set, so yeah the weather going better now, i guess. Still, since the day it was happened no electricity and no water in the area where it were most affected by the TSS. 😦 We didn’t stay so long there because t’was already 6pm and its so hard to commute.

All day was going so well. I mean, I have a good time at work till when I’m with my peers. What makes me decide to write this post is that, aside from I am so devastated from the tragic we experienced here, I was SO disappointed with the collector of fares in a public conveyance which is we refer as ‘conductor’. As I went home, alright I always commute and Jeepney is all I can got. I’m so tired leaning my head and trying to get some rest. There were two passenger who stop at public market which practically means that there are two vacant seat, right? The conductor looking for two passenger too and it happened that there two ladies who waited for Jeepney. The first one who got in was just bringing her bag, no baggage’s , no hassle. And here’s the point that my tempered reaches its peak, the second one WHO WAS SUPPOSED TO STEP-IN in the Jeepney was blocked by the conductor and says, ‘NO MORE VACANT, SORRY!’ where in fact there was really another vacant for her. That woman he blocked was bringing two heavy baggage’s, the heavier one was in her head and she’s just holding the other one. (Can you see the picture that I’m trying to share to you?) As in, my eyes were opened wide as in shocked in a way that, Oh my God how dare he is, he didn’t even show mercy on her. I mean, how could he do that with the woman who totally obvious that really tired in bringing those heavy baggage’s???? WHY?? If I didn’t control myself, my temper I might even punch his face. 😦 I just can’t understand why people tend to be like that? He could help her right? SO stupid guy. Despite of the tragedy happened to our city he could care much right? I mean, he’s Kagay-anon too he should care and help people in every simple way just like letting that woman in the jeepney 😦

Just saying…