Thank you for this long day. Continue reading
So I guess, I’m just being so assuming and my judgement is clouding my mind cos I got this so called affection towards you! Where you can clearly be something to anybody like me.
The difference is I thought I experienced nuff, been through life which is enough but I summed up, my age can say how lil my story still is! So I’m thinking, was I’m just trying to psycho myself that I know better right at back that time? (Eye brow’s up)
I’m thinking about culture differences, I know its a big factor. I can see that. Eyes are widely open on that matter. The thing is, its normal to you which is so new to me! Colliding innocense in a row! (Shrugs)
Was our understanding really coincide? I’m thinking of that too. Cos if yes, why I able to ask this? (Chuckles)
Is there something we believe in? Oh, let me alter that… Is there something I believe in? Or let me rephrase it, Am I believing on something which you not? That’s the exact question to be ask! If you are, if your heart the same as mine why you’re drifting your way?
Think …. think …. think
Alright! Why I complain so much? Yes, I am complaining so much these past few days, weeks, months!! I don’t know either what’s happening to me. I am not on my track, I don’t bother to care… or better yet… I am mad to the world. Somehow.. what Daph’s said to her post ‘Why Avoid The Unavoidable?‘ about risk conversion!!! After what happened last December, I say personal, It feels like I don’t feel to live anymore, hard for me to laugh, so much pain inside and keeping it secretly which drive me to be one of the players online, having fun. I become moody, mad to the world again, I don’t even study and this week is our midterm exam. HAH!! Goodluck to me! I am not like this, Yes one of my personality is not bother to care on EVERYTHING not really everything. I live as it is! That’s me, but ruining myself like this? I mean how can I let this happen? right? Why I complain so much! Oh well, I bother to asked myself that last night!
And today, I read one blog. ‘I need your help, yes you‘ ! Yah, its April’s blog. One of my most valued friend on twitter but I consider her as real! A realization came out! What burden I’m keeping in is so less compare to April. Okay, I won’t deny that I also laugh, you know.. sort of friends making me so! But why I am letting myself destroy? Where I can be something to someone, right? I mean, just being there to my friends is enough for them. Presence, support and love you give to your friends is so much appreciated. Somehow, I just miss to hear that someone telling me: ‘thanks for making my day‘!
I should be the daylight again! For myself, for the people whose my smile and laugh can make their day on!!