A Letter For Myself (A Short Story)

Dear Shira,

How you doing? Same old same old?!

By the time you’re still in the womb in your mom,

You’re so talented, doing acrobatic and more stunts

Which results you to be born with clubfeet.

You are lucky to have a parents who finds way to make your life pretty normal enough to say.

They heard you scream every time the smiling doctor twisting your soft lil feet.

As days, weeks, months, years pass your giggle wash those pain.

You’ve learn A, B, C’s

Count 1, 2, 3

You make them proud when you got medal.

You made them frown when you didn’t meet their expectations

Where they know that you can really do.

You make them happy when you become competitive

And brought disappointments when you’re in college.

Come on.

When did the last time you made them proud?

Maybe unspoken.

Shira I know you’ve grown not only physically, mentally but also emotionally.

You start wondering what does letters L-O-V-E

Which you found yourself utter when you felt the spark of lighting arrow of cupid.

You explore and found yourself hurt.

You stood and been ok for a year of doubt.

How have you’ve been  now Shira?

I heard you fell in love again but this time deeply?

How’s  your heart doing?

Tortured by you?

Cheer up Shira.

Forgive yourself for what you’ve done to push your love away.

Forget how it used to be.

Keep moving together with the world.

You’re a great woman more than you’ve imagine.

You can be every thing in this universe as well.

You are still young and can still make things up.

The Way You Live Naturally, Cheer up Shira. :D

Sincerely yours,

Nenskei :D

How pathetic I am! Someone needs me!

Alright! Why I complain so much? Yes, I am complaining so much these past few days, weeks, months!! I don’t know either what’s happening to me. I am not on my track, I don’t bother to care… or better yet… I am mad to the world. Somehow.. what Daph’s said to her post Why Avoid The Unavoidable?about risk conversion!!! After what happened last December, I say personal, It feels like I don’t feel to live anymore, hard for me to laugh, so much pain inside and keeping it secretly which drive me to be one of the players online, having fun. I become moody, mad to the world again, I don’t even study and this week is our midterm exam. HAH!! Goodluck to me! I am not like this, Yes one of my personality is not bother to care on EVERYTHING not really everything. I live as it is! That’s me, but ruining myself like this? I mean how can I let this happen? right? Why I complain so much! Oh well, I bother to asked myself that last night!

And today, I read one blog. ‘I need your help, yes you‘ ! Yah, its April’s blog. One of my most valued friend on twitter but I consider her as real! A realization came out! What burden I’m keeping in is so less compare to April. Okay, I won’t deny that I also laugh, you know.. sort of friends making me so! But why I am letting myself destroy? Where I can be something to someone, right? I mean, just being there to my friends is enough for them. Presence, support and love you give to your friends is so much appreciated. Somehow, I just miss to hear that someone telling me: ‘thanks for making my day‘!

I should be the daylight again! For myself, for the people whose my smile and laugh can make their day on!!



Beauty truly is in the eye of the beholder.

How many of you believe that? How often you believe that? Are you truly in that statement?

(raising her right and left hand!!) Count me in. Not so often. Tho, I am strongly in that statement!

Tom, also our fellow blogger, made a post that I consider as ‘the awakening thoughts’ … titled: The Most Beautiful Girl In The World , catchy title? not just the title, the content is pretty much interesting and inspiring to read.

Yah, lot and lot of people says inner beauty is more important but actually today, I don’t see it that way. People judge a person with her look or physical aspect. Are u too? Oh, I must confess… rarely, I am. So, what is really beauty means? Being optimistic? Being on God’s side? Being kind and caring? What? uhmm, well for me, for being who you are is where the real beauty shows up. What’s in your heart is the beauty you are hiding in. Let that bloom and let it grow as beauty goes to the one who carry it. Let it flow till in your soul cos that what brings you the beauty of life. If you believe in beauty is in your heart then live happily. 

Row….am I out of the topic? nyahahaha




Easy things!

I know I know I know ….
I’m so sensitive!!
I’m finding remedy for that though I just can’t really help myself!
I’ve always been like this, that’s I always end up with nothing!

This is me!

Yeah, I easily fall for one!
Yeah, I easily get inspired!
Yeah, I easily get attracted!
Yeah, I easily get hurt!
Yeah, I easily mess thing up!
Yeah, I easily get damn jealous!
Yeah, I easily get frustrate!
Yeah, I easily let myself  fell into the ground!

#NotetoSelf .. let it go!!!

BUT I can’t!

Yeah, I am one of the damn girls out there who seek attention, love, and time  .. I am deeply emotional girl who’s scared of everything. Even she knows that holding on is like putting herself into cliff and in the end of the day she’s just watching her falling without bothering to who’s gonna be there and  if there’s gonna be there. Without even thinking what are the consequences that she might encounter sooner. Without even thinking what life would be if she’s starting to step into it. Without even thinking that what would be her life after taking in the line she’ll choose to. Even she knows that hoping a issue big dealt of unsure things. Even she knows that assuming is big mistake a person could commit. STILL trying to give everything without even thinking twice!

Finding your inner thoughts

Have you ever tried to find yourself?  Did you find yourself?

Yes, I did…And I find myself. In fact, I didn’t find it all alone cos someone help to to realize something about me … Sometimes, people who become closer to us help us to figure out our desires, wants, needs and things that satisfies our inner thoughts. But most often people mislead everything from getting some perspective of life that they learned from others. BUT one thing for sure, just be with yourself and sooner you’ll gonna see yourself clearly standing in crowd without fear and hesitation.